One Good Friday=)

Indeed the Good Friday we all know best--the Day Death Died and the day we all know His endurance and sacrifice made for us All. Speaking about endurance, I jus wanna share bout yesterday(Friday). Everything was all well during morning at school, heading towards the assembly hall with everyone else, like usual, starting off a conversation with my new best friend, Soo way, who's so dear to me. Then, owh, Puan Juzira, our form and Physics teacher just patted real hard on my shoulders. I though, oh my gosh, is she gonna give me kad merah? For I didn't sew my name tag on my pinafore, oops, and it's just this uniform that I hadn't sew one on, sgh. Worst of all, she told me that I would get a penalty today cos I didn't hand up my report card. Hah, I almost freak out, what to do? We students never had to buy one, why is the rule here so different? Anyway, I just head to the Chemistry lab. Then a prefect came to my class and asked me to go back to assembly hall. Oh my, discipline teacher was there with a bunch of students sitting a group there.

But thank God she was not at all mean or harsh, phew! At that moment, I thought, what's gonna turn out? Finally a mark on the kad merah where I never in my life had a mark on one before? Dad, im sorry if this is gonna embarrass you and whether if I could still get a scholarship I've wanted. I would always think alot of one thing and the consequences of it. Before I knew, tears rolled down. I dunno why I cried.. I know I'm that kind of girl who won't cry with ease, just not me at all. Besides, such small thing, why should I cry then? Suddenly, teacher called out my name, hah, I was still in tears by then, speaking with abstruse words cos I was crying, sigh. At that time I prayed that teacher would let me go, thankfully she did, saying that I need to pass up the report card by tomorrow(this morning). Ok, so all was alright until I came back from tuition and rushed to church after that. Supposedly I had to buy me the book at the stationary shop cos our koperasi doesn't sell like anything!

So my dad had to put my mum down at church and rushed to the bookstore, and it was 10 mins to 8:30. My dad obviously was furious, knowing that he'll be late at church. Worst off, I didn't bring enough money cos I was rushing to go. So he scolded me, lecturing me the whole journey. But those paternal words really strucked me. I am who I am--so blur, indecisive at times, clumsy, blahh. He really told me off, but I know it's for my own good. Then we went in to church, worship was on. Singing 'Above all', my, I literally cried. I was remembering the past events took place from when I was young-- I really thought I was a plonker in primary school days, during primary 1, cos I will get among the last position in class while my siblings had always did well in their studies, rather intimidated by this. Then the lyrics strucked me, above all powers and all creations, He is King above all. Jesus came to died for us, being mocked and condemn, though compltely innocent and good, paying a ransom for our sake. He is Son of God, and He had to do this for us, little, tiny creatures, unseen in outerspace... What does our sufferings compared to this? Why should I be so intimidated by something small as such. I can advise ppl on this and that, but who am I to do such? simply hypocrisy. Then the next song, 'Here I Stand Forgiven' tears rolled down again.

This is raftly it, there's till summore to it but I can't continue, just one night of encountering with God through His Holy Spirit. I can't describe the feeling I had at that time, but I know I never felt this way, a mix feeling combined with things of my childhood times. But I should not dwelleth in things of the past, but move on and grow stronger even more. This day, I really realized that I am no different from that either. My heart could not sustain that much, but only He can, and thank you Lord, for dying on the Cross for us, that I am now forgiven and for everyone else too. Thank You so, so much!!!